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Literature Text
Love
Ripples form, the slow gentle breeze
Sweeps the bud across the pond
We sit, waiting for the night
To unfold the beauty from within
The sun sets, the moon emerges
Slowly, reverently, the bud opens
All the wonder pours forth from the petals
The lily glistens, we smile and embrace
Ripples form, the slow gentle breeze
Sweeps the bud across the pond
We sit, waiting for the night
To unfold the beauty from within
The sun sets, the moon emerges
Slowly, reverently, the bud opens
All the wonder pours forth from the petals
The lily glistens, we smile and embrace
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this is exactly like the piece "Depression"...emotion poem....
hope you likey!!
the preview pic was done by FICIEK.....thank you for the perfect pic!!!
!!
hope you likey!!
the preview pic was done by FICIEK.....thank you for the perfect pic!!!
!! © 2006 - 2024 sagira87
Comments7
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Very nice imagery. 
For some reason, the word 'bud' is jarring to me (makes me think of roses or, worse, beer). Some thoughtful substitutions may help it flow.
Humble suggestions:
"Sweeps the lilies across the pond"
and
"Slowly, reverently, a flower opens"
Your piece does create a lovely picture
For some reason, the word 'bud' is jarring to me (makes me think of roses or, worse, beer). Some thoughtful substitutions may help it flow.
Humble suggestions:
"Sweeps the lilies across the pond"
and
"Slowly, reverently, a flower opens"
Your piece does create a lovely picture